Category: jokes

1.Please don’t post videos in whatsapp of Police beatings on the road

After watching these videos wives are purposely sending their husband to get vegetables/groceries

2. Only essential services to be available.

Schools, colleges, University :
all type of education is missing from the Essential list.

I realized: how many years of my life I wasted on non-essential activity

3. This quarantine is Gods way of accepting a ton of wishes of:

1. Kids: Can we have no school and play all day? – Done

2. Women: can we have the undivided attention of my husband who works so hard?- Done

3. Husbands: I’m sick of this traffic and commuting i wish i cud stay at home and work n Get paid: Done

4. Working Moms: I wish I could spend some quality time with my kids and read… Done

5.Students: I wish i wouldnt have to study for my exams? – Done

6. Old Parents: Wish our kids could spend more time with us rather than being busy everyday? – Done

7. Employee: Hate my job, i need a break.- Done

8. Employers: Have no life, wish could sit home and watch TV. Done

9. Mother Earth: I cant breathe, i wish I could get a break from all this pollution and chaos… DONE

Yet we all complain- Beware what you wish – You might just get it !!

Your will power can create an absolute multiverse.
Have faith in your absoluteness.

1. I called my friend yesterday night at 10.30pm, he said he was very busy, working on a special Project “Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium and Steel under a constrained environment”.

I was impressed.

Later I realized – saala bartan dho raha tha, under the supervision of his wife !!

English is a Beautiful language !

2. PM Modi 2016 – aaj raat 12 baje se 1000 aur 500 ke note nhi chalenge.
💵💴

PM Modi 2020- aaj raat 12 baje se log nhi chalenge.
🚶🏼‍♂🚶🏻‍♀

3. Trump woke up after listening to India clapping/ Crackers/ whistling and calls Modi – Did you invent drug to treat Carona ?
Modi : No
Trump : Did you stop further cases
Modi : No
Trump: Then why all this celebration
Modi : in Our Bollywood after few serious scenes we have a song and dance sequence which has nothing to do with the story or plot. We are just following the formula

1. Am travelling and travelling in this Quarantine period😪

Travelling from Hall to 🚶🏼bedroom 👫 Via kitchen..

2. Stay at home..

If you feel like travelling.. go to Google Maps,

I am currently in Switzerland, heading to Malaysia Soon..

3. one who eats once a day is a yogi
one who eats twice a day is a bhogi
one who eats thrice a day is a rogi
one who eats 4 times a day is a drohi..

Ajkal aisa lag raha hai BIGBOSS ke ghar mein rah rahe hain.
Khana limited hai.
Bahar ja nahi sakte.
Bahar wala andar aa nahi sakta.
Kaam khud kar rahe.
Modi ji 5 baje thali bajane ka task bhi de rahe hain.
Ghar me ladai bhi utni hi chal rahi hain bas broadcast nahi ho rahi

Beware of MOMORONA virus.

This Virus affects only mothers

Main reason:
Husband at home
Kid at home
No shopping Malls
No Movie Halls
No outside food
No online order

Symptoms :
high BP,
frequent unnecessary screaming, headaches,
blasting husbands for not sharing responsibility,
real lack of sleep,
overall crazy feeling.

This is more viral than Corona.